Last night I was at a party that was also a bbq and was also a ‘house show’ and the girl behind the grill was on too many drugs to make the burgers and hot dogs and I ate a (almost) 100% raw cheeseburger then I ate a 100% charred cheeseburger then I ate a 50% raw/charred hot dog.
Then I walked home and three kids in hoods swooped down and pulled a gun and said to curtis GIVE ME YOUR PHONE and curtis said RUN and so we ran and I ran into the alley which was the WRONG way and curtis ran down the street which was the RIGHT way but he u-turned and we just kept running and it was only a block but my lungs felt slathered in sriracha, and then we saw a padiddle cop which was UNUSUAL at best because a) everyone knows a padiddle that is also a cop is EXTRA points and b) when is there ever a cop when you need one? we got into the back of his car which is V. uncomfortable because it is supposed to be and my knees were up to my chin and I do NOT have big knees even. curtis directed him to ~the spot where it happened~ and the kids had not gone far and the cop pulled up on the curb and pulled out his gun and said GET ON THE GROUND NOW.
anyways, it may have not been them because they did not have a gun and there were FOUR of them and not THREE like I remembered and I didn’t know what their faces looked like anyway, and so the cop gave us a ride home and curtis said take a left on front st and the cop said I know, I’m a cop, and I tried to roll my window up but people in the backs of cop cars do not have that privilege, and we came home and I started to get out but people in the backs of cop cars do not have this privilege either, and he let us out and said “don’t go for walks at night in that neighborhood”.